Today destiny connected me with a very vibrant young lady. Intelligent, smart, gorgeous, outspoken and by all means someone I would like to refer to as an ‘epitomize African aristocratic embodiment’. She is an entrepreneur, a model, a fashion designer with so much passion for African print! Her fashion sense is simple; it must be something classic which often go with a touch of the African print. A lady with a beautiful smile, blessed with height. I feel so excited to be speaking with this lady today.
Her name is Sahaniè Morris
Recently, I have been asking different people some deep and interesting questions on different topics that I think the youths would find interesting. Questions ranging from love, career, good life, relationship, sex and the future plans.
Today, I decided to engage the every gorgeous Sahanie on the topic of love and relationship tips. With no cameras on set nor papers or pen with me to write our conversation, everything seems like a big joke.
As part of what I love doing at my leisure time; beautifying both male and female in the beauty pallor, today it was no coincidence that our conversation therefore took place in one of such locations
After making sure she was well relaxed , with few pleasantries exchanged, I proceeded to enquire from her what service she needed.
With this settled, we prepare to begging with the hair do; I quickly sort her consent for questioning. I made her understand how important her answers would be to me and to my readers worldwide. She agreed to this interview. But with no cameras on nor papers or pen with me to write with;
Someone might wonder what manner of interview it was going to be.
I stood behind her looking tall, staring through her long fine hair, straight to her face on the mirror! A bit of an anxious smile flashed on my face, on one hand I silently pondered on how to begin with my questioning that it won’t be provocative or embarrassing to her. Suddenly, I realized that ‘by standing just above her, and her sitting down; I had some advantages’. This might be a little confusing; I’ll explain to you;
But it is wrong to judge by the physical appearance.
After some moment of silent,I speak:
“Okay, this is the thing; I have been highly disturbed in my thinking! I know that keeping quiet would not help. So ill be talking to you about this! This is actually an interview. Mind not that the camera and the rest are absent”.
(She agrees and braced for questions, And I explained further)
“First, this discussion would be about relationship; your answers would mean a lot to me and thousands of readers worldwide. I would like to ask you, ‘what should be the main factors, from the woman perspective; to consider before getting into a relationship”?
(After a brief moment of pondering, she answered)
“Well, for me, the very first thing to consider as a factor before going into a relationship is the spiritual standard of the persons in question. From the woman perspective now!
He must be spiritually nature both in faith and in he’s dealings in accordance with the law. By being spiritually mature in this manner, he would not only be an all ladies kind of man, but also the kind that mature ladies wouldn’t want to do without.
Secondly: Trust. Because trust is very vital in dealing with people! Especially, in matters of interest to both parties, this has therefore https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newLDR_46.htm become a very vital key to sustainable relationship. As a fact, I can boldly state it that no relationship can survive happily for a long time without trust.
Thirdly, understanding: http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/understanding Understanding comes with acceptance! When two people understand each other, knowing each others strength and weakness; it becomes very easy to move on together. Therefore, before going into a relationship, it is very vital that you try a little harder to find out more about the person in other to understand better what to expect. http://achievebalance.com/data/empathy.htm
For example, I can never imagine going into a relationship with an Orthodox! There is not a lot I know about them; what they do or what they hold tight as moral values. Same thing applies to the Hindus. Their believe might be the opposite of mine; I don’t know!
(At this point, I interrupted to add my understanding of these all)
“So this is where the spirituality factor actually comes in?
“Yes! To an extent, understanding has a whole lot to do with acceptance. Accepting that, ‘this is the truth, we can’t work together. If your spiritual life is not in accordance with mine, then you have to understand; accept this as a faith and move on”.
(She paused for a moment to think then continued)
“I’m not completely objecting to the fact that such relationship can’t or doesn’t exist, no! What I’m saying is, ‘you might not just be one of the lucky ones ’. Therefore, it is better to do the right thing at the right time than to live to regret latter.
The fourth one is RESPECT . RESPECT is another major factor, to consider before going into a relationship. In a relationship, each individual have a key role to play when it comes to respecting the other person. http://www.wikihow.com/Respect-Your-Partner
Respect has to do a lot in regards to the other person’s moral values, likes and dislike, wants and don’t.
“Ever heard of partners cheating on each other before, did you ever wonder why?
(She asked sarcastically smiling. From behind where I stood, I nodded in response with my two hands still very much clued to her long super healthy natural hair. Twice or three times, her cell phone blinked for an incoming call! It struck me to realize she had deliberately switched it to silent mood and wouldn’t answer a call as our conversations gains more life. This is a woman that truly understands what respect and comportment is about. My heart melts! She continue speaking)
“Last but not the list: Love. I don’t really have to emphasize much on this as it is self explanatory or do I?
Without love, it is almost impossible for any form of relationship to exist. It doesn’t necessary have to be a romantic love at first, it could be filial love, agape love and then it could upgrade to something stronger with deep emotion as the relationship progress”.
(I perceived she was speaking with so much
Confidence. Her words were true and with great wisdom. I pondered silently to myself, ‘perhaps she might be speaking from personal experiences’. At this point, I wanted to ask her to explain to me how she knows when she’s being loved in a relationship!
But I feared it might be a little personal, so I changed my question)
“To you as a lady, who heads a relationship? Who has the final say?
(Before responding to this question, she reminded me of an appointment she was to have! I looked at my watch and realized ‘we had about two hours till the time of her leave. For the first time, I tried to double up with my speed and before long; I was done with loosening her hair.
With her hair being washed, comb and dried we were back into our previous position. Then she answered)
“Back t to our previous discussion, first and foremost, you must understand that a normal relationship is suppose to be between two mature and responsible people. Though biblically, the man is the head of the home, but nevertheless, you must know also that without the woman, they would be no relationship. Thereto, for me it is more like a collective responsibility for both who are engage to each other in a relationship to make sure things work out right at all time. More a collective effort for both parties to ensure calmness in their relationship at all time”http://www.girlschase.com/content/failed-relationship-failure-leadership
(With that, I was filled. with that question being very intelligently and tactfully answered and completely quenching my hunger for more answers to questions on this topic. I felt fully satisfied! My hungry soul was fed.
We rested for some moments as customers began purring in and the beauty parlor start to have some life. Their noises gradually pollute the atmosphere, suddenly I realized, ‘’I was getting super exited, deep from the inside’’. Three to four more questions crosses my mind to ask, but the noises from the pace.
Finally, I gave up! Basing my failure on societal platitude such as a, ‘’A good chance deserves another’’. And so the day was over but not so with these I learn from this encounter, for this knowledge would be with me for long.